The much hackneyed phrase "A picture tells a thousand words" surely applies here.
But hey, these are the kind of scenes that are expected to happen when Melbourne suddenly aren't the powerhouse they once were...right? Wait a minute...
Even the kid from modern family in the bottom left corner seems embarrassed by the inept performance he's just witnessed, and he has to listen to Sofia Vergara shout/mangle the english language most days.
In addition to that, while we're still here, don't even dare look at the guy behind the family from the TAC ad, he will steal your soul.
Judging by this, I would not at all be surprised if Melbourne's main sponsor next year is one of those funeral insurance places I keep seeing ads for on tv.
Read on after the break.
If I hadn't been slack and had decided to write this a week ago, I may have pointed out then that The Demons seemingly have no soul for that creepy dude left to take anyway.
But since then, like 18 year olds on schoolies, spirit levels have seemed to have dramatically arisen. What's restored that small amount of hope to supporters was a last quarter bowel release of a win over the second year GWS squad featuring the former Demon turned-defector, turned-mercenary, turned-overpriced contract that is Tom Scully. So that makes everything better.
At least on field.
I mean Melbourne are fine, plenty of draft picks to come, especially priority ones.
And they haven't been known to waste those or anything...And it's not like other clubs are thinking of getting rid of their picks...Sorry I shouldn't have said that.
I actually don't mind Melbourne's recuiting the last couple of years. Dom Barry and that other 17 year old should be great for Melbourne in about 3-4 years.
Sure, you've lost Jarrad Rivers to Geelong. Cale Morton to West Coast. Stef Martin and Brett Moloney to Brisbane, Jordan Gysberts to North, Tom Scully to GWS, and Jaime Bennell, Liam Jurrah, Brad Miller over the years. That's fine.
Sure, you have the youngest leadership group in the league and its widely believed that a strong leadership group is what keeps good players at a club. That's fine. Your rebuilding.
Sure, pretty much all the players aside from Jeremy Howe and Nathan Jones are in and out of your side due to either injury, form or questions if there is improvement or if they are up to AFL level at all.
Melbourne's future, just like Jack Watts just needs some time to come good.
The Viney family alone surely can produce a team almost single-handedly. Always quality.
Wait what? How old is Jim Stynes kid then? What?! Jesus. Someone quickly call Garry Lyon!
I mean not everyone around the place is hopeless.
At least you've got this guy is in change.
Wait a second, surely that's just a bad photo...
Oh god...Mark Neeld.
I almost forgot you came from that great hub of team culture, Collingwood.
The worst part is this is about as in control as he can look, can't the man at least try take a good photo? Most of the time he looks like he's about to cry or punch someone.
But I guess who can blame him, he does coach Melbourne. it's not like they have a history of illogically sacking their staff either....
Possibly after a loss.
Possibly after a win. I think?
One thing that this bowel cleanse of a victory for Melbourne will not change are claims that Melbourne have allegedlly lied/left out facts/not be transparent to the AFL about having no involvement with the now dreaded-sport scientist recent ASADA and WADA 7.30 report-interviewee Stephen Denk. It's okay melbourne supporters you might have been too focused on tanking inquiries to notice about this little story. It hasn't really been getting much press...
I'm considering calling up Damien Barrett or anyone at channel 9 and insist they commence employing "Denk" as an adjective or verb, or at worse even a reality television show. Before they hang up on me surely someone's got to acknowledge its better than some of the other crap floating around on network television.
"You've been Denked!" coming up after The Voice. Has a certain ring to it.
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